Aight I'll try here it goes:
1. "My mouth spit hot even when my dick jot" - that line (IMO) makes no sense. It has good multies (spit hot, dick jot) but it doesn't really make sense...I think you can improve the metaphor there. Remember, don't just rhyme words, but it also has to make sense.
2. "you know im sick alot with my script dropped i shit of top" - the flow is a little choppy there...the part where u say "script dropped" kinda messed up the flow there. Plus the concepts dot really connect there, it's like your jumping different topics.
3. "Im borned the best but foreign to rest so im talkin shots sumtin burnin in chest so im flaming the sky and stormin landmass" - that was the best line I saw in my opinion. But you said "so" twice, don't use the same sentence starter twice or else it'll look and sound crappy, make it sound like ur having a conversation. Overall, it had great multies, nice metaphors, but what does "landmass" rhyme with?
4. "and when im angry i take a rope and pull a star and be full scald i cant be on starcraft but i can craft a star" - another good line although I think u mean "full of scald" lol, other then that, nice flow, multies, and metaphors..."pull a star" nice, how bout inyead of saying "craft" u take a word that nearly rhymes with full and pull like "mold" idk I'm just stating my opinions.
5. "and i define the rap none of my lines are wack forget bazooka my rhymes attack and fuck jets my rhymes can also fly and smack with power" - great flow, creativity etc...but, again, what does "power" rhyme with?
6. "You think different?" - ummm...good question? Lol
7. "Just a lie of crap so step back or get ur head cracked and sit back and continue to rap 'bout pussy,pussy" - I like the concept of it, but it's pretty basic and it needs more creativity like u can add in some metaphors or wordplay.
Well overall, the whole verse needs some work, some lines are pretty basic but wit some work and time, it'll be great.
